Tuesday, June 5, 2012

You Might Be an Atheist If...

Below are epithets--hurled against yours truly--from a condescending, angry atheist. [Really now…is there any other kind?]

Please tell me you're better than this…. You don't seem stupid …you need to check your words because you're dangerously close to becoming a typical online christian [sic] jerk….

You're salivating over ‘atheism is not based on reason’, aren't you…please take extra care in your next response. I've already given your pedantry more time than I usually do…

Why is it christians [sic] have to resort to lying to make their points…you've proven yourself to be just another Little Liar for Jesus, stooping to any tactic necessary to try and make yourself look good….

Maybe one day, when you're older, we'll be able to have a real conversation.”

(For further evidence of abusive atheists see:

At any rate, after last week’s little ray of atheist sunshine…I am inspired! And now, for your reading pleasure I present to you: “You Might Be an Atheist If…

You Might Be an Atheist If…

If all you know of the Bible you learned from Richard Dawkins…you might be an atheist.

If you despise the “god of the gaps” but have no problem with missing links…you might be an atheist.

If you deny moral absolutes and are absolutely outraged by biblical ethics…you might be an atheist.

If the statement, “Dead atheists are all dressed up with nowhere to go” offends you…you might be an atheist.

If “Hitler was a Christian! End of discussion.” is your trump card…you might be an atheist.

If you think human beings are really nothing more than big-brained predators, except for your mom…you might be an atheist. [And yes. I had a guy make this very argument.]

If your knowledge of church history begins and ends with the Spanish Inquisition…you might be an atheist.

If you can’t stand “Intelligent Design” but can’t help admiring your own intellect…you might be an atheist.

If you think Jesus Christ was a backward peasant and Stephen Hawking is God’s gift to the world…you might be an atheist.

If you love Darwin and hate racism…you might be an atheist.

If you believe religion is the opium of the masses but could drink a living Christopher Hitchens under the table…you might be an atheist.

If you can’t appreciate the irony of, “There is no God and I hate Him!”…you might be an atheist.

If you’re just a bag of chemicals living in a mindless universe and think believing in God is irrational…you might be an atheist.

If you feel religion is bad for humanity but population control is good for people…you might be an atheist.

If you know morality is only herd instinct and there’s no God because of all the evil in the world…you might be an atheist.

If you think the New Testament is myth and “'On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection, or the Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle for Life,” is your Bible—and you’ve read neither…you might be an atheist.


  1. I don't know how something can be funny and sad at the same time, but here it is...thanks Steve for alerting us to the ridiculous people that are in this world today.

    1. Sometimes life does have a way of causing us to laugh through our tears, doesn't it?

      Thank you so much for reading and commenting.

      Blessings to you and yours!